Nicky and The Skins: Flash Fiction
Content summary: flash fiction, self-expression, skin, experimentation, enby main character, enby author
This piece of flash fiction was written in 30 mins by enby author JTC. In it, non-binary main character Nicky (who may or may not be a traditional “human!”) tries on a variety of skins as they experiment with self-expression and their own identity.
Nicky and the Skins
by: JTC
Nicky never knew what they were that day until they had tried on a few skins. It wasn’t that Nicky didn’t know know who they were, so to speak, but identity is complicated and multi-faceted and regularly Nicky needed to try a variety of skins before deciding what the best skin for the day might be. It didn’t really bother Nicky that their boot-up process was a little slower than others; it was a hangover from their version of the Skin Programme that they’d never seen the benefit of getting patched. In fact, even though it took a little more time in the morning, and even though Nicky sometimes chose “wrong” and would get stuck in an uncomfortable skin for the majority of the day, they’d come to appreciate the process of skin selection and felt that it was good for their personal processing overall to go through the experiential practice of trying on skins.
It wasn’t always an expressive exercise, although it was often that way at the start. Early on, Nicky would try on skins with the goal of projecting an essence or a feeling, whatever those things were - something about their own internal workings. This process is not as easy as the primary marketing narrative of the Skin Programme made it sound, with their billboards projecting Nickys that seemed content or happy or confident, or a variety of other abstract concepts that most Nickys chased such as badassery or authority. Frankly, Nicky wasn’t sure if there was ever a right answer to feelings and found this form of skinning to be exhaustive. It took up too much battery power without enough result. So, after a while, Nicky switched tactics and went through a series of skins aimed at locking in how they wanted to be seen. This strategy was easier to implement - it’s been well categorized how outward appearance impacts how others treat or see you - but was sometimes dissatisfying, and typically boring. The most well-documented influencial appearances hadn’t shifted since the 80s, though Nicky thought they did a pretty good job at modernizing it and coming up with a few new categories of influence all their own.
But after a few iterations, Nicky decided to try something else. Instead of trying to express themselves, or trying to influence others, Nicky decided to try on skins that were entirely not theirs to begin with. They borrowed - or rather bartered for - a few skins that didn’t come in their specifications. Some skins needed to be tightened to fit; others needed to be loosened. A few needed to be modified in the structure to sit right on the face, but a few Nicky left as-is despite the unsettling, wrinkly deformed result of doing so. From one they took a skin with track marks in the arms. From another, one that was heavily tattooed. They even found a few of different base tones and one with a mixture of orifices foreign to Nicky’s base design. They tried all these skins and sat meditatively inside of them, observing how varied the day could be depending on even minute differences in the skin. They tried a combination of skins with dressings, sometimes appearing contradictorily affluent yet sickly, or impoverished yet healthy, or dressing differently than what aligned with the orifices. Nicky observed how minute changes in the skin were influential enough to change how well Nicky could continue on with their usual routine, and how other skins didn’t seem to make any difference at all.
They tried wilder and wilder combinations with an increasingly reckless abandon. Some of Nicky’s closest begin to worry that Nicky was getting lost in the skins; they felt unsure of what Nicky was at all anymore, with how rapidly the skins changed, and secretly Nicky felt the same.
Nicky began to feel so detached from the skins that once or twice they even went out wearing no skin at all. This only resulted in being completely ignored by the others, which Nicky found too unsettling to do very often in the city, but out in the woods, away from the others, it didn’t matter if Nicky had skin on or not. Nicky even wondered if they could get a tree skin, but that wasn’t available and wouldn’t be any time in the foreseeable future.
Eventually, Nicky decided skin was not for them at all.